Archive for the ‘ Reviews ’ Category

Tomb Raider: Legend

One of the most well-known of the modern gaming heroines is the delightful Lara Croft. Going from 1996, the series went on a hiatus after the shambles that was Angel of Darkness. It suddenly made a return of some description with Tomb Raider: Legend. Continue reading

Burnout Paradise

I hate racing games. In my experience, they’ve always been far too focused on realism and the fact that you should have used a certain tyre in those wet conditions. I wonder constantly whether they’re actually simulations or games. However, there’s one series which I’ve always been able to tolerate, and in most cases enjoy: Burnout. Last year, the series made its debut on the gaming paradise that is the PC, with Burnout Paradise. Continue reading

Dino D-Day

Seeing as my current state of maturity makes me the equivalent of 4 year old, there are 2 things that will guarantee my attention for a long period of time. These are Dinosaurs and Dragons. Thus, a Half Life Mod called Dino D-Day is bound to attract my attention. Although the prototype is the only thing that’s been released, I thought it was worth a look. Continue reading

Hitman: Codename 47

“Hello there 47. For your next assignment, we’d like you to do something a little differently. There’s an amateur blogger who’s about to post the exact details of your first few assignments, threatening to blow the Agency’s secrecy out of the dark. Although we could easily deal with this breach of security ourselves, your particular services are required since he appears to be planning on passing a judgement on you. We’d hate for your reputation to be dirtied. We need you to take him out before he does”.

A briefing like that is a death toll for someone. Agent 47 doesn’t care who they are, what they do, or who called for their little problem to be taken from the world from the living. He gets this message and by the end of the week, the person it speaks about will die. That there is the premise of Hitman: Codename 47: that you are the eponymous Agent 47, and you are an assassin. Continue reading

Red Faction: Guerilla

I have a theory, which I shall name the Rose Theory of Joy, after it’s awesome creator. It’s that the amount of joy that you can recieve from an activity is directly proportional to eπk, where k is the amount of destruction and havoc that you wreak (in pounds sterling) per second. There must be a proof that I could do, but Red Faction: Guerilla seemed to hold up to it. Who cares about a big open world with a realistic crowd, when you can have a slightly smaller world with pretty much every little thing able to be destroyed? Continue reading

Peggle Nights

I hate PopCap. With a passion. Not content with making Bejewelled Blitz on Facebook, complete with a high score table and a cheat that somehow makes your girlfriend somehow beat your high score, they make Peggle Nights (You know, that sequel to the great rainbow of joy inducing bagatelle?) free to download. WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME!? I HAVE OTHER GAMES TO PLAY DAMMIT! Continue reading

Project: Snowblind

A game where the player is actually a super soldier? Wow, what a novel idea. It might even work! It sure beats the hell out of the idea of a normal soldier who can take a clip to the face but regenerates when behind a sheet of corrugated iron. And with that quick jab at CoD, let’s have a look at Project: Snowblind. Continue reading

PS I love you

At the bequest at an unnamed person, I had a look at Post Script over the past few days. This is partly because I felt guilty about the fact that it’s been sitting in my Steam games for the past 3 weeks and I still hadn’t played it, and partly because I felt guilty that someone had told me to look at something and I hadn’t. I’m sorry world, I have a conscience. Now that I’m done beating myself up about it, here’s what I thought. Continue reading

Professor Layton and Pandora’s Box

Carrying on the trend that the DS isn’t for serious gamers (I’m sorry, but it isn’t), Professor Layton 2 is the newest games in the latest series of games that are for kids, but also for adults, allowing those older members of the family a perfectly reasonable excuse to get a DS and not feel bad when they get accosted for it (Along with Brain Training, Brain Training 2 and Professor Layton 1). If I were a lesser man, I would wonder how the hell they could possibly manage to pull off a sequel to a game with a shoddy plot, but with a load of puzzles, with only 20% or so being ‘bad’ puzzles. You’ll never guess what happened. Continue reading

Giants: Citizen Kabuto

If anyone here is wondering what the key to a woman’s heart is, then you need to play this game. After slogging through it, killing the final boss and watching the end movie, you’ll find your answer: “You’re gonna love Planet Majorca. Sun, beer and all the fish and chips you can eat”, to which the beautiful woman replies “Oh Basil, you truely know the way to a woman’s heart” leading to Basil’s face being eaten off. You heard it here first ladies and gentleman, all I need to do now is to write a book, put adverts on those questionable sites and charge $39.99 for it. Continue reading