How To: Nothing to See Here

For once, I’m not going to start with a long paragraph about whats happening in my life. But I shall begin with an image. This one:

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Dual Screens and Toilets

For those of you who care about my personal life, my hair was cut this week. Sitting on those rather comfortable seats while waiting for Mr Barber to finish his customer lead to the drafting of this post. Which was helpful. I spoke on the last How To about realism in games. However, there are some times when we really don’t want realism. There are some times we just want to play solitaire and have done with it. Its times like being stuck at a greek hairdresser’s that you realise that that DS that you bought was a damn good idea. I’m not going to be silly here and attempt a review of the DS. I’d need to research it properly, and I’m feeling quite lazy this week. But still, I think its important to note what it is for. Continue reading

How to Play: Get a Life

Perusing the various dredges of my highly legal (cough) DS ROMs, I noticed a certain red herring in the wonderous collection of legality: Call of Duty[1] After noticing that I had nothing else in particular to write about, I set to work playing it again. As you may know, the developers of CoD spent a large amount of development on making the weapons and scenary as realistic and historically accurate as possible. It tries to make a game out of the great historical battles of the whole world. Now, if I was a satirist, I’d argue it doesn’t do a good job of this[2], but that is beside the point. The point is, they spent so much time making these historical battles and weapons, and then made an unrealistic game. Sorry Infinity Ward, but its not realistic to die and then go back and retry that last 5 metre march that you just messed up. Continue reading


I’ve been mulling about what else to write about this week. It’s a difficult task. The other column (The How To Play ones) is usually very simple. I say simple, I tend to think about it an awful lot. Any observations that I make aren’t so nearly decided or planned. However, thanks to Activision, this problem has now been solved. I should also thank Radical as well. They actually made this game. Continue reading

How To Play: Yo ho ho

If you read last weeks How To (And if not, why not?), you might have noticed a quick throwaway comment about DRM. To be fair, I’ve spent the past week deciding which part of the blog this goes into. After a long bout of deliberation, I’m putting it down as a How To, not an observation. Why? Because if I put it down as an observation, you might get a long post about why DRM should be shot in the kneecaps, thrown to the lions with a neon sign on it telling the lions to take their time and have fun with it[1]. Apologies for how violent that sounds (And the crudeness of the alternate) but DRM is one of those buttons with me. You know, the one that causes you to froth at the mouth and start clawing on the windows at Shopping Centres? Continue reading

Graphical Anomaly

I don’t particularly like public transport. Why? It means I have to spend time in busy buses/trams/trains, which I don’t like. I like to walk if I can. The Trafford Centre is a half hour walk from my house, or a 5 minute bus journey. I’d much rather walk. I save money, get exercise, and usually get to think. I’ve written songs, essays and various other things while walking. Now, that might just seem a random start for you, but most of this article was written on one of my walks. Well, planned. Whatever. The real reason I mention it is because I noticed something when I was walking and I overheard some people speaking. I can’t remember the full conversation, nor why I was listening in, but it was about how amazing the latest Need for Speed looks. Am I the only one who doesn’t care? Continue reading

How to Play: Delayed

So, this is the first proper post I have.  Just a quick bit about myself. I’m an Upper Sixth student who’s been playing games for about 10 years now. So I’m probably a young whippersnapper to most gamers. But dammit, I enjoy gaming. And thats what games are for right? So, I’ve been playing for a while, and over the past few weeks have spent some time at Gaming Daily, reading and thinking “Why the hell am I not doing this? If someone who doesn’t even seem like a professional journalist can run a blog that good, maybe I should give it a go’. Which I am. And here is the result. Continue reading


As per usual, I’m testing this blog. I now have 2 blogs. One here and this lovely site that you’re looking at. Hows about a link. One right here.

This blog is called How To Play. It centres around methods of gameplay, that you might not have considered. It also covers what I’m currently playing, what I think of it, and how much I hate DRM.

The OTHER blog (You want another link?), is a blog about any coding that I do. The reason the two are seperate is because, erm… Yeah. Thats why. So please, read both, and comment on both.